Where one mate has strong prejudices in favor or against certain sex practices, the other partner should try to be unusually understanding and uncritical, even if the practices that are favored or disfavored seem to be outlandish. If the presumably more reasonable mate will at least give the �outlandish� procedures an honest try, he or she may find that they are really not as bad as they seem to be.
From How to Make Yourself Happy and Remarkably Less Disturbable:
If you are still very upset about being abused as a child, you are now, probably, irrationally thinking, �My early abuse absolutely should not have occurred!� �Such unfairness is awful and I can�t stand even thinking about it now!� �The people who abused me are completely rotten! I�m going to spend the rest of my life hating them and getting even with them, if it�s the last thing I do!�... These Irrational Beliefs will keep your original upsetness vividly alive � instead of letting it die a natural death, as disturbance gradually does if you don�t dwell on it and reinforce it by continual crooked thinking.
You can read more except's on Ellis's work here.